"Honey, don't hold his head like that!"
"Don't toss him around like that, he just ate!"
"I think you put the bottle in the microwave for too long and now the milk is too hot!"
I have caught myself saying things like this in the first three weeks of little Mo's life and as soon as they leave my mouth, I think, "Uh oh. It's Nazi mom!"
This may be normal but the thing is, I don't want to get in the habit of telling my significant other how to be a parent and I certainly don't want to imply that he should second guess himself as a father. He is a great father!
I talked to Nathalee about this today and she agreed that it is hard not to tell the daddies in our lives what not to do, even if we adamantly think that they are doing it wrong. It made me wonder why we mommies feel the need to do this. Is it because we carried these babies inside of us for 40 weeks and consumed copious amounts of parenting literature to prepare? I think that is a fair point but how can we impart our knowledge and opinions without becoming bossy and discouraging partners? No one wants to be Mean Mommy! I sure don't!
Maybe it is a matter of language. Maybe changing the way we communicate is a step in the right direction. For instance, "Don't hold him like that because he just ate!" could become, "He just ate so you might want to make sure that you hold him upright to digest before you play." Or something like that? I'm open to suggestions.
In the end, I think curbing my propensity to micromanage this co-parenting relationship is probably a good thing. Except when it comes to safety. As always, safety should come first. But in the end, I can't be Daddy. I'm Mommy. I have to have faith that he knows how to be a daddy far better than I do.