The Holidays: Not just about the gifts

I remember how excited I was to write my Christmas Wish List and my anticipation that followed everyday until Christmas morning when I would realize what I got from my list. 

I remember drinking Mexican hot chocolate and singing Christmas Carols with my family the night before Christmas. We’d each get to open one small gift. At the end of the night, my brother’s and I would leave a glass of milk and some cookies for Santa Clause. I remember every year we’d wake up around 5am (oh my poor Mom!) to see if Santa had come and sure enough – the cookies and milk were gone and our Stockings were filled. Once we confirmed that Santa had been to our visit we’d go back to sleep for another couple of hours and then get up to open up all of our gifts.

San Francisco Union Square Christmas TreeI have such fond memories of the holidays. It was never about the gifts. We didn’t have a lot of money (but I didn’t know this until I was older) because my Mom always managed to buy us each a handful of gifts that she new we’d love. I so enjoyed opening my presents and I appreciated each and every one. I look back and realize that what I loved most was spending time with my family. Being around each other and laughing.

I want my little girl to have these same memories and appreciations. I don’t want her to grow up thinking the holidays are about gifts. And that the bigger the gift is, the better. I want her to associate the holidays with family. There is part of me that wants to give Reese the things that I didn’t have like lots of fancy expensive gifts but I know that is not in her best interest.

I want Reese to get to make her own gift wish lists with the understanding that it’s a “wish list” and she will not get everything on the list. I’ve seen her reaction when she receives a gift. Her face lights up and her eyes widen with curiosity. Mostly she smiles with appreciation and I don’t ever want this to change. I want her to “want” for things. As she gets older this will be important.

I can manage how much my husband and I buy for her during the holidays but how do you manage family? For starters I created an Amazon Wish List for Reese. Nathalee, awesome suggestion! I shared this with the grandparents and family. I also explained to Reese’s grandparents that she doesn’t need a lot (not to mention we don’t have much more space in our city condo).  And I reminded them that just this month Reese received the last of her Christmas and Channukah gifts from 2010. (She got so much last year that I stocked a lot of the gifts away and gave them out during the year).

I know I can’t control what others buy her, but I can greatly influence what Reese learns to value and shape some of her memories. The holidays are about family, giving, laughter, appreciation and love. And gifts are a distant second to all of this. 

What do the holidays mean to you?

One in a Flash

I can’t believe I’m writing a post about my daughter turning one. Didn’t we just come home from the hospital? I asked my husband this very thing this past weekend, and he agreed, “It does seem like it,” he said. “But some things also feel very far away like swaddling or waking up throughout the night.”

Thank goodness! I wasn’t really a fan of either of those things. My husband was always better at swaddling and I always woke Elle up after she fell asleep nursing when I tried to swaddle her.

Regardless, I loved every bit of it. There are so many amazing memories and emotions we’ve experienced this past year: 

• I distinctly remember the feeling of pride when others commented on how early she was lifting her head. “Why, you’re right? She does have a very strong neck.”
• Excitement over her first tummy time to see how she did – and she liked it!
• Anticipation in her rolling over and sheer joy over every new accomplishment
• The tenderness of her first hug to me or the first time she laid her head intentionally on my shoulder
• My (real) tears of happiness from her first giggle outburst
• Immense appreciation for my hubby every step of the way from all the support in the hospital to still waking up in the middle of the night when he has to work the next day
• Her first word, “Yum” and then dada and mama
• The feeling of accomplishment when getting her down for naps, knowing when she is tired, hungry, etc.

 Some of my favorite things:

Her little fake cry when I’m putting her down for her nap or bedtime and getting her into her sleep sack. She’ll still fake cry but reach her other arm back to put it in the sack. So cute!

• If she notices we aren’t in the room while sleeping or gets scared, she’ll stand up and start crying. As soon as we walk in the room, she drops in her crib and closes her eyes, but frequently checks to make sure we are there.
• When I pick her up, she squeezes me super tight with a big hug
• When I go to get her from her naps or in the morning and she is standing and smiling with a big grin, and her big cheeks are warm and soft like marshmallows
• Napping and snuggling with her
• Seeing her laugh and make a funny little squealing noise that just sounds like happiness
• Seeing her shake her groove thang!
• The way her top lip curls up like a bird and her mouth drops when she is in deep concentration

It's totally true what they say that the moment you hear your baby cry when she is born, and you hold her in your arms and look into her eyes, your life is forever changed -- in an awe-inspiring way. I wish I could write down and capture every memory but who has the time? We’re all too busy experiencing life and who can complain about that. Happy Birthday my sweet tootle. I love you more than you'll ever know.