Brotherly Love

Before Baby Z was born, I was worried that Nic would be rough with him out of jealousy. It turns out that I need to be more wary of kisses and tickles.  Breaking the rules!

Since we brought Baby Z home, our rule has been that Nic can kiss his head and tickle his toes, but that all other touching is pretty much off limits. As you can guess, he tries to push the boundaries on this in every way possible. He gives a gentle kiss on the head, followed by one where he presses his face so hard to the top of baby’s head that I think he’s going to break his own nose. His toe tickles turn in to toe squeezes. And he tries to sneak in the occasional kiss on the mouth or face stroke.

It’s hard for me to reprimand him for showing his brother love, but I know I need to keep Baby Z safe. For the most part, Nic is very sweet with Z—bringing him toys, singing him songs—so I let the occasional full-body-hug slide. As Z is becoming more alert, I’ve also noticed which of Nic’s behaviors he enjoys and which seem to scare him. I’m going to try to follow Baby Z’s cues more and more to find out what kind of physical contact I should allow. In the meantime, I love watching Nic dangle toys in front of Z while Z smiles back with a huge grin. I can tell Nic loves it too--he jumps up and down and says, “Baby is smiling at me!”

You Don’t Have to Pretend it’s All Sunshine and Roses

We started MommyBeta to give a wider voice and audience to the email chains pinging back and forth between the four of us. Though most of our discussions now make it to the web, we still email about touchier subjects. Last night we wrote a (partially) wine-fueled thread that I think deserves to see the light of day. It’s not fair for us to hide our frustrations and you shouldn’t have to either.Full hands. Full heart.

With the gals’ permission, I’ve included some of the most relatable quotes below:

“Okay I've had 1.5 glasses of wine so I'm feeling a little loose with the tongue but what I really want.... Is a little break. I love my family and I want to inhale the scent of them 24/7. But I also want some rest.”

“And I want to not feel like my old self is so far behind me that I sometimes burst into tears if I am able to finish a cup of tea while it is still warm.”

“You bring up a good point about all the prepping and not just being able to say "see ya!!" I think that is what gets me. It frustrates me when I have to give specific instructions about exactly what needs to be done. Sometimes I just want to say "Figure it out!" hahaha. But then I think about it and I know this is the situation I've created. These are the expectations I've created. “

“These kids are A LOT. It's just constant. Even when they are asleep there are mounds of laundry to fold, boobs to pump and puree pouches to order. I'm exhausted. All. The. Time. And it's not even the being up at night (I'm only losing about an hour or two a night), it's the being ON all day long. I seriously don't know how people have more than two kids, or how women cope with husbands that don't help.”

“I just have to keep reminding myself of how unglamorous having an infant is--always being in pajamas covered in spitup doesn't make anyone feel sexy. But I straightened my hair today, put on a dress and boots, and felt 10x better about everything than I did the day before. I think I'm going to have to force myself into real clothes more often.”

“We shouldn't let anyone tell us that it's easy for anyone else and we shouldn't feel bad about feeling overwhelmed.”

I’m Back

Wow guys. This has been a CRAZY month. Not only did we welcome our delightful baby Z, but we bought our first home and moved in! Did I mention that I am also recovering from a C-section? I’m just now coming up for air.Family=Free labor with a smile! Here we are with my mom and dad who helped make the move manageable.

All I can say is: Thank goodness for family. We couldn’t have done it without my parents’ help with the move and doing projects around the new house, and Shaun’s family helping to occupy Nic and Z during the move.

Yesterday was my first day home alone with both of the boys and today was our first trip out of the house solo. I am thrilled to report that both were great successes! I have to really hand it to Nic, he is one resilient kid and he’s grown up a lot in the past few months. Most of the time, I now feel like I’m dealing with a reasonable little human instead of a stubborn toddler (note that I said MOST of the time).

I have SO MANY posts that I want to write. We’ve been dealing with all kinds of newborn stuff (diaper rash and weight gain issues, him not me) and I have several reviews and a ton of pictures to share. I’m hoping to get the time to write regularly now, so stay tuned. And I’ll be back on the podcast next week!

12 Days Old, And Already His First Cold

Nic was feeling a bit under the weather on Saturday afternoon. Some sniffles and a few sneezes, but he was completely better on Sunday. He doesn’t have a lot of direct interaction with baby Z yet, so I didn’t think too much of it. My poor sick baby trying to get some sleep.

But in the wee hours of the morning today, I heard the congestion, followed by tiny, sad sneezes in my poor little newborn. Only 12 days old, and already he has a cold!

Natali said something similar happened with Ava and Miles when Ava was only two weeks old, and she mentioned how much these poor second-borns have to deal with. They get no peace and quiet, get lugged around so much more, and of course, get big brother or sister’s germs.

I know there’s data that says first-borns are more likely to be CEOs, but I think that subsequent kids should get a little more credit. I have a new respect for second (and third, and fourth) children—they have to be so much more resilient than their older siblings. 

Introducing Baby Z

Nic would like to introduce his baby brother, Z. Z was born on August 1, at 8:46 am. He weighed a whopping 8 lbs 12 oz and was 21 inches long. MommyBeta Nathalee is recovering well from her C-section and will be back to share stories soon!

Nic holding his baby brother for the first time. He was nervous!