White Lies

Bad idea: Trying to pretend that your kid's accident in Starbucks is just a beverage spill. That doesn't work. 

Last Friday I took Miles for a post-haircut milk at Starbucks. It had been too long since his last trip to the potty but Ava needed to nurse so I forgot to take him. Sure enough, while sitting at a table with his soy milk a torrential peepee let loose from his pants. I scooped him up into the bathroom, followed by Ava in her stroller, and then leaned over to the barrista and told him we'd had a "spill." 

In a sense, it wasn't a lie. Peepee did "spill" out from my son's bladder. Did the barrista really need to know the origin of the liquid in question?? 

I changed Miles and sat him down at another table with his milk and whipped out the Hooter Hider to finish nursing Ava, who was being patient but was starting to get restless. If she hadn't needed to eat, I would probably have taken Miles' milk to go! But I sat there while a rather large, bearded, red-headed, round-faced man wheeled a mop to the location of Miles' "spill." 

As he started to clean, Miles noticed him, pointed, and said VERY loudly, "That guy clean the peepee!!" 

I have never blushed quite so crimson. I nodded, "Yes he did," I said under my breath. "That's very nice of him." 

"Yes. Nice," said Miles. And then he directed himself to the nice man and said - again very loudly - "Thank you clean the peepee!!" 

The man had the decency to pretend not to notice. Even when he wheeled away the bucket and Miles said again TWICE, "That guy clean the peepee" and "Thank you clean the peepee." 

You gotta hand it to my little guy. He's got manners.  

Potty Training Diary: Day 3-5

Small potty training victory today! Mo "self initiated," which means he said he had to go before he went in the potty! Yay! The program we are following said that he would self initiate in day 2-5 because he is a little bit on the younger side. I was starting to wonder though because we had some setbacks in days 3-5. 

On Thursday I had to work in the morning so he went to daycare in diapers. I didn't want to do this but I also didn't want him peeing all over the classroom. Same on Friday morning. I really don't want to put him back in diapers if I can avoid it because I think that the more I can commit to this, the easier it will be on him. When I brought him home in the afternoon, he pee'd in the potty but only when I sat him there. He did not ask to go. And there were a few accidents when I had him run around in his "big boy" chonies. 

This morning he went twice in the potty but also had a few accidents. This afternoon we took him out to plant our garden and he had a few accidents but he understood them, which I took as a good sign. He isn't used to holding it until he gets to the bathroom yet. It's a learned behavior. 

After dinner, Clayton took him into the bath and the warm water got his juices flowing. While he was in the bath he said, "Pee pee!" Clayton plopped him on the toilet and sure enough! Pee pee! Self initiation! A milestone! 

I knew this would be a process but I didn't realize how emotional it could be. It really makes you second guess yourself. Are we ready for this? Is he getting it? Will I derail him if we leave the house? I guess every parent goes through that, right? 

Potty Training Diary: Day 2

Clayton: How does it feel to spend all day staring at a naked butt? 

Me: Reminds me of my youth. 

That was our potty training humor on Day 2 of Potty Training Bootcamp. We needed it. It was an exhausting day. 

Today's schedule was similar to Day 1 but called for "bare bottom" training. I wasn't sure if I was going to allow this but figured it wasn't much different from letting him go in his "big boy chonies," (or underwear for those of you who don't speak Spanish). I figured I could resort to the chonies if he protested. He didn't. He didn't seem to mind being nude from the waist down. He played with the same abandon between toilet intervals. How wonderful it must be to be so free about your anatomy! 

The morning was not a big success. Three accidents on the floor and no peepee in the potty. I put him down for a nap feeling a little discouraged. He woke up having pooped in his diaper again so another miss to get that in the potty. 

But the afternoon was much better! Three pees in the potty to two accidents on the floor! A bigger success and we rewarded him with ice cream and an Elmo-shaped cookie from a local bakery that he did not really like. 

So far he has not "self initiated," which means he hasn't actually brought me to the potty to go but when I tell him to go, he goes willingly and climbs up and sits patiently waiting for the peepee to come. Since he is under 22 months, the book says his "self initiation" may take 2-4 days instead of just one for children older than 22 months.  

I have to work tomorrow morning so I will have to send him to daycare with diapers. His daycare providers say that they will follow his potty training schedule so I am going to ask them to put him on the potty as often as they can but I'm not going to ask them to leave him bare bottomed in the classroom of course! We'll just consider this a bit of a morning off of bootcamp and we'll pick up where we left off post-nap when I get back from my shoot in Connecticut. I have all Friday and the weekend after that to continue. 

Meanwhile, I just have to say that I'm so proud of my son for his eagerness to learn and resillience with the process. He hasn't cried or fussed at all. He knows that we are working towards something and is enjoying the extra time with Mommy. When we put him down tonight, utterly exhausted, we made it a point to tell him that we were proud of him for trying hard to learn something new. May my sweet boy face all challenges in life with the same positive attitude! I can surely take a lesson from his outlook on a new challenge! 

Potty Training Diary: Day 1

Wow, that was exhausting! I'm really proud of Mo for how eager he was to learn to peepee in the potty. We had a few little victories and a few little setbacks but I wrap this day up feeling like we are accomplishing something. 

First off, it went fast! It wasn't unpleasant either. Yes I had to clean some pee off the floor but I also spent the entire day playing with my son so I consider it a win! 

After his nap, Mo woke up ready to go again with the potty. Unfortunately he had pooped before I was able to get him out of his crib and he only does that once per day so we didn't get that one in the potty.

He did pee in the potty in his first interval after nap time though! Suceess! Full blown success! I made such a big deal out of it that I embarrassed him. I cheered and yelped and he got so shy about the ordeal that he climbed off the potty and buried his head in my shoulder. I guess I oversold a little. 

He didn't go again until the late afternoon and unfortunately I was in another room taking clothes out of the dryer. He was heading to the potty and didn't make it. He was just outside the bathroom when he started to pee and yelled, "Uh oh!!! Mommy, uh oh!" So that was my bad. I should have been there for him to help him get there faster. But it was also a win because he was on his way and trying to succeed. I'm counting it! 

Last toilet round before bed. He is asleep now in a diaper. The literature says that overnight potty training won't happen for a while - like 3 to 3 1/2 years old. Is that other people's experience?

Anyway, like I said, I am exhausted! Sitting on the floor with him for most of the day was pretty hard on my back, especially at 34 weeks pregnant. 

A few things I would have done differently if I had Day 1 to do again: 

• Make the timer more prominent. I was using my iPhone timer and I didn't always make it audible to him. He responded much better when he could hear the timer. I'll turn up the volume and let him hear it go off tomorrow. 
• Turn down the volume on "Pad Pad" games. I didn't hear it when he went in the potty because he was playing Wood Puzzle with the volume on. I need to turn the volume down so I can hear his peepee actually hit the bowl. 
• Forget dinner! I had planned to make dinner for Clayton and I after Mo went down for the night. Psych! I'm way too tired. We ordered Indian for delivery. I got a little too ambitous there. Potty training bootcamp will pretty much be your whole day. Accept that. 

Potty Training Diary: Morning 1

Extra liquids to bring on the peepee!

Mo and I started our potty training boot camp today. We using the schedule set out in this book: The Potty Boot Camp: Basic Training for Toddlers. I outlined some of my thoughts about this book here. 

The first morning has gone pretty much as I expected. No huge break throughs but there was some peepee in the potty. 

The first morning requires that you put the toddler in underpants and make a big deal out of it. Check! He got pretty excited about his Mickey Mouse and Thomas the Train undies. He wanted to put two pairs on at the same time. Next, you put them on the potty every 10 minutes for 5 minutes at a time. 

I was worried that I would have to force him to stay there but he seems okay with the idea as long as I sit there with him singing songs and playing games. The last few times before nap time I had to resort to "Pad Pad puzzles," which is what he calls iPad puzzles but he was otherwise okay with the frequent trips to the potty. 

He understands that peepee goes in the potty but he hasn't really done a full one yet. When he started to have an accident once in his room, I rushed him to the toilet and he finished there. That was a small victory. He got a small toy car as a reward. But otherwise he hasn't asked to go to the peepee yet. 

He does seem a little perplexed by the "accidents." He looks at me like, "What's happening?" The literature says that they have to understand the consequences so I'm okay with it and it doesn't seem to upset him. You are also supposed to have them help you clean it up, which he isn't so great at but we go through the motions. 

It's just the first morning. He's asleep in a Charlie Banana diaper now and we'll try again this afternoon. The whole process doesn't seem to bother him at all. He just thinks that he's getting extra facetime with Mommy. In between bathroom visits, we are reading books, playing puzzles, having snacks. It makes for a long few days for me. I don't expect miracles but I'll be patient. And enjoy the day as a chance to have extra play with my boy, interspersed with potty drills.