Keeping Your Mommy Zen

I read a great article in Parents magazine yesterday by Buddhist mom Bethany Saltman mom about how she uses her Buddhist teachings to help her be a better parent. Here’s a snippet of her great tips. I have already started applying some of these and am loving the results. NOTE: I realize these are things we all know but we all need reminders on how to slow down and enjoy the journey.

Stop Multitasking! She says, “An important teaching in Zen is that your entire life is happening right now. The past is over and the future hasn’t happened yet. Therefore, all we have is the present.” I am SO guilty of this. I try super multi-tasking which results in nothing getting done.

Leave No Trace. I am SO bad at this. Nathalee has miraculously changed her ways and her boys already have this down, but I must be a descendent of Hansel and Gretel because people could chart my whole day by walking around my house. However, I’ve changed that over the past two days and feel so much more focused. Here’s what Bethany says, “In Zen, we’re taught that that the state of our mind is reflected in the way we create our home. A scattered mind likely equals a messy house.” I can definitely attest to this. Bethany isn’t saying to be anal about cleaning. (Side note: did I just include “anal” in a blog post?) She is just saying that by picking up after yourself, you are saving yourself stress and time in the end and teaching your child the importance of picking up after themselves.

Don’t beat yourself up over things. Breathe and think realistically. We’re people; our children are people and you can’t have complete control over people. As Bethany puts it, “It’s a life work to become a decent human being. Because our kids are constantly changing, we’re always total beginners. We all need time to learn, make mistakes and start over. But we live in an impatient world, and many of us –women especially—beat ourselves up when we fall short.” Raise your hand if you’ve been here? Yep, I figured as much. Bethany’s rule is to do your best to model patience. Give your kids the chance at “do-overs” if they were naughty. For example, if they throw their food. Give them a chance to redo the scenario to allow them to get it right. {This does make me question if this teaches your child the right behaviors or makes them think they will be able to have “do overs” in the real world. Regardless, I think more of us mommies just need to remember to breath and practice patience where we can.

These are just three of Bethany’s Zen Wisdom’s. You should pick up the latest issue of Parents and read the full article. It’s a great piece. They’re got a lot of great info in this month’s issue. And you can read a few more of her Zen wisdoms here.