You Don’t Have to Pretend it’s All Sunshine and Roses
Monday, October 15, 2012 at 11:39PM
We started MommyBeta to give a wider voice and audience to the email chains pinging back and forth between the four of us. Though most of our discussions now make it to the web, we still email about touchier subjects. Last night we wrote a (partially) wine-fueled thread that I think deserves to see the light of day. It’s not fair for us to hide our frustrations and you shouldn’t have to either.
Full hands. Full heart.
With the gals’ permission, I’ve included some of the most relatable quotes below:
“Okay I've had 1.5 glasses of wine so I'm feeling a little loose with the tongue but what I really want.... Is a little break. I love my family and I want to inhale the scent of them 24/7. But I also want some rest.”
“And I want to not feel like my old self is so far behind me that I sometimes burst into tears if I am able to finish a cup of tea while it is still warm.”
“You bring up a good point about all the prepping and not just being able to say "see ya!!" I think that is what gets me. It frustrates me when I have to give specific instructions about exactly what needs to be done. Sometimes I just want to say "Figure it out!" hahaha. But then I think about it and I know this is the situation I've created. These are the expectations I've created. “
“These kids are A LOT. It's just constant. Even when they are asleep there are mounds of laundry to fold, boobs to pump and puree pouches to order. I'm exhausted. All. The. Time. And it's not even the being up at night (I'm only losing about an hour or two a night), it's the being ON all day long. I seriously don't know how people have more than two kids, or how women cope with husbands that don't help.”
“I just have to keep reminding myself of how unglamorous having an infant is--always being in pajamas covered in spitup doesn't make anyone feel sexy. But I straightened my hair today, put on a dress and boots, and felt 10x better about everything than I did the day before. I think I'm going to have to force myself into real clothes more often.”
“We shouldn't let anyone tell us that it's easy for anyone else and we shouldn't feel bad about feeling overwhelmed.”
Reader Comments (2)
No kidding! It's stinkin' hard! As for having more than 2 kids, well, my 3 are 3 1/2, 20 months, and 2 months. All three are at home with me full time. Since we plan on homeschooling, it would make no sense to send my 3 year old out for pre-school during the day. My kids are an absolute joy and an absolute handfull. How do I do it? The same way you do. I just do. Some days, I rock and I almost get all of the laundry done. But most days, we muddle through.
Love what you have to say about putting on "real" clothes. That and a little bit of dark chocolate can bring quite a bit of sanity to your day.
I agree!! I'm tired of these women that say it's easy or men that say " women did it 50 years ago with 5 kids and a husband who was always working". well I'm not them and I'm sure it wasn't all roses. and when I ask "those women" they say they went crazy all day every day. they huose wasn't clean they just threw food togeather, etc etc. not every aspect of likfe was 100% on. I love my family, have 2 kids and want more but it is exhausting. it's jsut noise all the time and never a relaxed state because one of them is bound to cry as soon as you get compfrtable or pick up a book and attempt to read it. But I think to 5 years down the road when they can entertain themselves and I can leave them with people because they aren't so needy and I will get my life back.. then I'll wish they were little and snot nosed and needed mamma...
For now I enjoy Mother's Day and my Birthday when I do the bare minimum and just enjoy them while hubby does all the work and I sit back and be selfish for 2 days a year.