One Pooped Mommy
Wednesday, February 1, 2012 at 10:52PMI’ve struggled with writing this post. One: because I feel very privileged to be able to work from my home and be the one caring for my daughter in her infant years not to mention blessed to even have a child. Two: Because my little girl is such a sweetheart – she really is a little doll.
But, even the mommies with the most angelic children have to admit, mommying is HARD! Sure, I am so happy not to have put up with corporate BS and playing politics in the office but there is no negotiating with a toddler. It’s their way or a tantrum whether it’s 7 in the morning or 8 in the evening (not that I give in.) And, no matter how many times I try to explain to my daughter that I don’t like changing diapers just as much as she doesn’t have them being changed but it just has to be done – she never gives in.
My husband and I chose our daughter’s bedtime so he could be home to read to her and put her down. That was before his work really picked up. Now, he might make it home by 8 twice a week. That means, it’s me and Elle from the time she wakes up until I put her down at 8:30 p.m – minus the two hours for naptime.
I’m not asking you to feel sorry for me – believe me, I know I’m extremely lucky and have no room to complain but if you can’t vent to your mommy friends, who can you talk to? Mommying is hard in many, many ways but one of the hardest is that we feel guilty about complaining! Seriously, what kind of mother complains about taking care of her children? I want to make it clear I’m not complaining about having to take care of my daughter. I’m just ranting about the fact that being a mommy is hard work – that many don’t realize…even I admit had no idea how hard it was. (There I go again making excuses for my rants.) Then add my PR consulting business, trying to launch another company and keeping up my blogging and you get insanity.
What else is hard – mommies don’t have weekends! Sure, I’m SOOO excited when the weekend comes around so my hubby gets to be home with us but things have really picked up at his work so he’s been working at home quite a bit which means weekdays = weekends. One of my mommy friends said this week that her hubby told her, “Saturdays are my busiest days of the week” because their little toddler is always moving. Tell us full-time mommies about it!
Alas, all those gripes, aches, sighs, frustrated grunts fade away when I see her smile, hear her giggle, receive a spontaneous kiss and hug and gaze at her sweet face sleeping. I know it is all soooo worth it but sometimes you just have to vent. Mommying is definitely the hardest and most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.
Reader Comments (6)
My 19 month old has decided to potty train me this week. I wasn't ready for it! And since when can he reach every counter and table in the house?
You might think about shifting bedtime earlier, then the three of you can enjoy breakfast in the morning together when she's likely cheeriest. It can also give you a little more recovery time in the evening to gather your thoughts (and toys!) so you can be in a better mood and enjoy the alone time with your husband. I only work one day a week, but I can tell the difference in my husband when he's just put our son down versus when he's had time to unwind before I come home.
We also each have a weekend day to sleep in, since our son wakes up at the unfortunate hour of 5 am (no matter when bedtime is!). It gets us each a few hours to catch up on sleep while the other has a special breakfast with the little guy.
I really appreciate your post, Jennifer. Sometimes I feel like we are not allowed to complain about how tiring it is to be a mom. I have had all of the same frustrations and feelings as you, and I work in an office, so I'm not even with my kid a majority of the day! You would think I would have more patience for the tantrums and frustrating diaper changes because I don't see her as much. But no, many nights I am still anxious for bed time. Not trying to mommyjack your post, by the way. Just saying I can relate!
You're right - mommying is hard, and we should definitely be able to vent about it without feeling guilty.
Hi Jennifer! My hubby and I also take turns on one morning a weekend to sleep in, and let me tell you, I look forward to it! A glass of wine to calm my nerves around dinner and bath time always helps too :) my husband travels a lot so I am also a stay-at-home mommy of 2 that feels a little "pooped" at times. It's ok to complain! I think it's very therapeutic!! For me anyway ;)
Going to keep it short and sweet. I agree 100 percent with your post! And, none of us hear it enough, but keep up the AWESOME work! You are undoubtedly a great mom.
Jennifer - please don't feel guilty. It's exhausting any way you slice it. I am literally exhausted by Tavish at the end of a day together. The office is so much easier in so many ways than dealing with tantrums and demands to play legos and watch shows all day long. I happen to be blessed with one of those "always has energy" kind of kids and he never stops going and talking and jumping and ahhhhh! I want to scream. And then I feel guilty for wanting to scream because all I ever complain about is not getting enough time with him in the first place. Hang in there, though. We all hear and sympathize. God, I cannot imagine having 2 or 3 ... eek!
I just wanted to say that I know how you feel...nobody said motherhood was easy! I don't think I know a single mom who doesn't feel the same way from time to time! There are times when I "battle" my son - whether it's to get him to eat his food, or to change his diaper - and it really does feel like a battle, I'm just fully defeated afterwards. But then I have days where my son keeps blowing me sweet little kisses, and I can't get enough of him. And I am also like you that I have a busy working husband/father - he's a great dad, but he has to bring home to bacon, and it isn't easy juggling that either. My husband and I both agree that he has the easier job between the two of us!