"Limit setting is common among Emotion-Coaching parents, who can accept all feelings but not all behavior."
I like this tenet. Accept feelings but not behavior.
Miles has been a little difficult lately. Having just turned 2, he wants to argue or whine over pretty much everything I suggest.
Want to put on your shoes and go?
Lets get out of the bath tub and have our story time.
Can you finish your dinner so you can have dessert?
It's starting to wear on me. I know it's a phase. I know that he's trying to exert control over small decisions. I know that living at the whim of your parents is probably frustrating for someone trying to learn independence. So I am trying to be patient and help him figure out what he wants and articulate it without so much explosive emotion. I don't deny him his feelings but I do require respect for the other three people living here.
I will keep this in mind as we take on another day of independence-seeking tomorrow. He can't be a terror. He can't scream, hit, or throw things. I do not accept that behavior. But I accept his feelings. So if he feels frustrated or disappointed, he can figure out how to communicate that and we'll work on it together. I'll let you know how that goes.