Today I took Baby Mo for a trial day at daycare. His teacher wanted me to bring him for an hour during story and activity time and stick around so he gets used to the idea. It went mostly well but I drove home in tears. This is going to be harder than I thought.
Baby Mo loves other kids and always seems like he wants to play with them but doesn't quite know how. He hasn't had much exposure to other children and at 16 months old, I would really like him to learn some social skills.
We arrived during song and story time. He was fascinated but mostly quiet. He sat on my lap and murmered the answers to the questions that the caregiver was asking such as "What does the cow say?" He moo'd so quietly that only I could hear him but at least he was trying to participate. He really wanted to!
When snack time came, he sat with the other kids and ate bananas, observing in silence. I sat not far away. I even walked across the room to get his Batman Thermos and he was fine with that. Then the caregivers asked me to leave the room for about 20 minutes.
He cried. So I cried. He was able to calm down a little but it was his nap time so he was a bit overtaxed. I put him in his carseat, gave him some encouragement and milk, and headed home. I bawled in the driver's seat for the entire four blocks home.
He starts officially tomorrow and I have to work so I am hoping that this will be successful. I know the first few days are supposed to be hard but I am not a big crier so my sobbing means it is harder than I had braced for. It's only a few days a week! How will I endure Kindergarten??
I know in my gut that I've chosen a great place. I know in my gut that this is good for him. I know in my gut that he will be fine and eventually love daycare. So why does this break my heart so much?